I looked out this morning and the sun was goneSometimes I like to wake up to that song. It gets me stoked. I'm not kidding. Seriously. Shut up. No really. Fuck you then.
Turned on some music to start my day
I lost myself in a familiar song
I closed my eyes and I slipped away
- Boston "More Than A Feeling"
And what's crazy is that it's a song about a guy turning on some music to start his day. I should stop now, I'm freaking myself out. It was one of the first songs I remember hearing, while lying on the thick, brown and orange shag carpet in my parents' room. I never stopped loving the song. This wasn't the case with all the songs I heard around that time, songs like "Don't Bring Me Down" by ELO (Electric Light Orchestra). I liked that song when I was between four and maybe six-years-old. The first time I heard Talking Heads, I forgot all about that ELO crap. But I never forgot about Boston. Well, I kind of did, until I saw The Men Who Stare At Goats a while back. When George Clooney's character, Lyn Skip Cassady, is talking about astrally projecting, or "remote viewing," Ewan McGregor's character asks him, basically, how he gets in the mood.
Bob Wilton: So what do you use to remote view?
Lyn Cassady: I drink. And I find classic rock helps.
Bob Wilton: Any music in particular?
Lyn Cassady: Boston. Boston usually works.
Then there's this great editing cut where suddenly the camera is flying over the ocean. The song comes in at about 1:25 of the trailer below, but doesn't quite have the same effect.
In 1991, when Nivana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" came out, and people were all freaked out about how great it was that the song was all, like, slow and quiet and then it got all, like, fast and loud, and it had that wicked awesome riff. I was in art class and I was all like "Dudes, these guys totally didn't invent this shit. I mean, the Pixies totally did the soft/loud thing first. And that riff...they totally, like, bit...totally, uh, bit..." "Totally bit who? Totally bit what?" "Um, nothing...you guys are right this song is totally rad...I'll, like, shut up now...a mosquito, my libido...woo! Yeah! This is totally sweet!"
I felt like I was taking crazy pills.
But what I wanted to say was "They totally bit fucking BOSTON," but I couldn't because the other kids would have strangled me with the flannel shirts they had tied around their wastes for giving credit to such a lame, mainstream arena-rock band. And, of course, back then we couldn't just Google-up facts to make our critics look like dumb-asses, so they wouldn't have bought it anyway, but now, to back up my feeling about "More Than A Feeling," I can Google stuff like this up:
Ha! So suck it you kids in my art class in 1991. In your face! If I had a Hot Tub Time Machine, I would come back in time and Wiki the shit out of you bitches.
Other critics have noted that this song's main riff is referenced in the Nirvana single "Smells Like Teen Spirit".
I know these anti-Nirvana comments will come across to some as infinitely more offensive than my anti-high tube sock, short khakis, and large T-shirt comments from yesterday, maybe, I say maybe even more offensive than my response to Marshall Hance's comment where I said:
And just remember...
arguing with me is like scamming your way into the Special Winter Olympics and competing against me in Special-Curling — even if you win...I'm still retarded.
Damn, that is pretty offensive. Of course what I meant to say was:
But shit...it's Saturday morning — no one's looking at this bull crap, not even my grandmother, so I can curse, offend entire third world nations, and self-deprecatingly make light of my own mental disabilities.
And just remember...
arguing with me is like scamming your way into the Special Winter Olympics and competing against me in Special-Curling — even if you win...I'm still retarded AND so is curling.
If I got you all worked up and pissed off, just watch the video below of men playing noodly jazz on bicycle seatpost clarinets (thanks Eliot). You'll feel better. At the very least you won't accuse me of being a Grunge-ist.