Wednesday, June 02, 2010

We Have a Piper Down

Before I go off yammering on whatever I'm going to go off yammering on today, I want to take a moment to talk about Doug "Hill Junkie" Jansen. Doug is far and away one of the most dedicated cyclists I know, I mean, the guy is a nut about his freaking bike. Legend has it that he use to weigh 300 Lbs. and that through cycling he was able to drop almost half of that — HALF OF THAT. He now weighs in the vicinity of 160 Lbs. Contemplate that for a moment, and if you haven't read his description if his ankle injury, you should check that out too.

Think about it, we all go into the season a little heavy and some whiners even go on and on about that last ten pounds they have to lose to make "race weight," the douche bags (irony alert). Imagine trying to lose half your body weight. Now think about what your bicycle might mean to you if it had been the vehicle responsible for delivering you from the land of life-threatening obesity to the land of riding your bike up hills all day like some kinda freak.

This is Doug's idea of a good time these days:

He seeks out hills like a crackhead seeks out crack.

Due to his severely jacked up ankle, he is going to be off the bike for two-and-a-half months. In the middle of the season. Imagine how much that sucks, and then put yourself in Doug's shoe (and air-cast) and imagine how much it sucks for him.

What I'm proposing is this:

We all get together and fill a box with (mainly) cycling related DVDs and books and get it to Doug so he has something to help occupy the 15+ hours per week he usually spends riding a bike (up massive, horrible hills like a psycho). If you've got old films you've already watched and you just want to get rid of them, great. If you want your stuff back, send it along with a self-addressed envelope and I'll see it gets back to you. Better yet, just make a copy. One of the first items in the box (which is a Sierra Nevada Summer Ale box by the way) was a burned copy of Hell on Wheels, the Tour De France film. I know that Doug would be interested in Klunkerz or any of the latest greatest free-ridey-type films.

You have a couple options on getting your stuff in the box, you can either:

a.) Send it to me:

Thom Parsons
33 Irvington Rd.
Somerville, MA 02144


b.) Come find me at events like the EFTA Big Ring Rumpus on June 6th, the box will be there. It may also show up at various NEMBA rides, I'll keep you posted.

We'll see how fast stuff comes in, and once the box reaches something like capacity, I'll get it to Doug, either via mail, or by showing up at his house unannounced and standing in his driveway yelling about how I have a "big box o porn" for him.

Why, why no youtube clip for the box-o-porn scene from The 40 Year Old Virgin? Shakes The Clown I can understand, like twelve people saw that movie, but 40 Year Old Virgin? C'mon! I went to youtube and all I found was a video of an interview with Peter Keiller (more on that in a second).

Cycling Videos on CyclingDirt

Doug Jenne (a different Doug) killing Dicky's dreams, one revolution at a time.

Yesterday I lamented that Dicky and Doug weren't live-blogging from the Transylvania Epic Stage Race down in Pennsylvania. Shortly after writing that I noticed that cyclingdirt had updated their coverage of the race, complete with smack-talking-filled interviews from Doug and Dicky and Peter Keiller. I'm actually haunted by the voice of Peter Keiller. For whatever reason his Dirt Rag interview at Interbike is the first thing that comes up when I start to punch "youtube" into my browser address bar, so every time I got to You-tuble something, I hear, "Alright, uh...we are with uh, Peter, uh...Peter Keiller." So ya, I'm not so much hearing Peter's voice as much as the voice of the interviewer. But I hear his name. I guess I'm haunted by his name. Oh yes, and he is live-blogging (pretty much) from The Transylvania Epic. From what I've heard so far, that thing sounds wicked, wicked hard.

Speaking of wicked, wicked hard (mind out of gutter now!) that is how I am going to hit my pillow in about twenty seconds.

Is this thing still on?

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