Big Bikes

It's That Time

Time to hang a bunch of tall boys on the top tube of a Schwinn Varsity, much to the chagrin of the employees of Blanchard's Liquors. They insisted that the beer had to be covered, and they were none too pleased to begin with that the Varsity had been wheeled into the store as a sort of ghastly shopping cart by a deranged man wearing all black clothing and stylish sneakers.


The deranged man was named Gaulzetti. He complained that the Varsity was geometrically flawed (for Gaulzetti's sake, pray these blasphemous words never reach the eyes of The Todd Downs). His argument: The top tube is a touch too short — it won't quite accommodate three six packs of tall boys.

"When you're riding a Schwinn Varsity down Brighton Ave. with three six packs of tall boys hanging on the top tube, every frat boy and hipster wants to be your buddy."


I bet the sweet ti rack on Matt O'Keefe's Seven Cycles cruiser could hold a bunch of tall boys too. I've just always loved this rack.

The truth is, I shouldn't even be yammering right now. It's not really time to hang a bunch of tall boys on the top tube of a Schwinn Varsity, it's time for kids bike donations again. I have a box truck out in front of my house with fifty-something colorful, little bikes in it, along with fifty-something colorful little helmets. They are headed to Dorchester EARLY tomorrow AM. I should be sleeping now is what I'm saying.

So ya, EFTA Pinnacle report on Monday, complete with Helmet cam video and interviews of all the major players on cyclingdirt. The Elite field is growing, it's up to about 14 dudes, not bad. Speaking of things growing, thanks to some fancy foot work by my awesome wife, I rallied from a precarious third place in the Breck Epic Blogger grant and I am now solidly back in the lead.

See you Monday, that is if the load in the back of the box truck doesn't shift, causing an avalanche of disproportionately heavy kids bikes to pour out and crush me to death when I go open the door tomorrow morning.


Oh right, and as if that all wasn't enough excitement for you, I have here the much-awaited sequel to yesterday's NEK video. And this one has 60MPH winds and golf ball-sized hail in it. I'm still a little goofy with the editing, tried a little transition from Jane's Addiction (whom I forgot to credit...dur) to Danzig, and the incorporation of still photos. Kind of a trainwreck, see for yourself:

North East Kingdom from thom parsons on Vimeo.