Monday, January 05, 2009

Random Thoughts...

not so much thoughts really, more things which fell out of my brain and were ally-ooped by my fingers to my keyboard without hesitation. Like monkeys using team tactics to throw poop.

I've been meaning to continue my writings on the specific stereotypes which I've developed regarding certain makes of cars. Volvo. To best convey my feelings toward the average Volvo driver (don't worry I'm not talking about you, above average Volvo driver who's reading this) I will describe an advertisement which I intend to create in an attempt to land the Volvo account.

We see a close shot of a World War II era Japanese Kamikaze pilot in the cockpit of his Zero (or whatever, don't get all historically accurate on it, just go with it). He's crazed, all wild-eyed, bearing down on a Battleship. We go to a wide, panoramic shot, he goes screaming into a dive, he slams into the ship, it explodes, both the plane and the ship are engulfed in flames. We go back to the cockpit in a wider shot, we see that the pilot is holding an iphone in one hand and a Starbucks Latte in the other. We pan out wider, he holds the phone away from his ear long enough to ask his children in the back (of his Zero wagon, go with it damnit) if the yellow lab in the way, way back is OK "Guys, GUYS! Is Prince alright? Seriously, gawd!" ( he goes back to his conversation) "What was that honey? I told you we should have gotten a Wii for the car too". We pan out wider as he waits for a cue from his GPS and then pulls away from the smoldering hunk of steel which was the battleship as it slips beneath the waves, his plane totally intact, no worse for wear.

Volvo - Safe On The Inside

I think they're gonna love it.

7 comments:

Colin R said...

holy shit i'm buying a volvo

general gow said...

i just spit my coffee on my monitor. thanks a lot.

Cosmo said...

"When you act like a tough guy while driving a Volvo it looks like you're trying to be deeply ironic"

rick is! said...

love it.

PVD said...

My stereotype of drivers of certian cars is simple. The bigger or more expensive a car is, the less skilled the driver is at driving. The most glaring examples of this are BMW and Porshe drivers. Those people are just about the worst drivers on the road.

jasonwg said...

The Japanese used all types of planes for "kamikaze" attacks including the Zero. Later in the war they developed a "kamikaze" specific model called the Nakajima Ki-115 Tsurugi. It was much like the Volvo C30 Divine Wind edition. Very hip.

JB said...

V. nice. Now do one on Dodge Magnums, should be easy.