Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Angry Fiddler Crab of Trapped Wind

So the other day, in an effort to get my pedaling like a fiddler crab issues worked out, I went to see Sara Bresnick-Zocchi at Pedal Power Coaching. But there's more to it than that. I had sent an email to Bill Peterson of We Do Feet in an act of desperation, hoping he could steer me toward someone who could do something like he does. What he does is bicycle fit from the feet up, including custom crazy foot-beds and orthotics. The only time I have truly felt great on the bike was after he got me sorted before the '08 season. Unfortunately for me and fortunately for him, he has stopped his practice of coming up to a lovely mini-mall in Rhode Island to do fittings a few times a year. He is now in Tucson full time. There was no way I could schedule an appointment during my 36 hour visit to Tucson in February for SSUSA/AZ, which was too bad.

Bill got back to me with the quickness, telling me that he had just trained someone in my area — Sara Bresnick-Zocchi, A.K.A. "SBZ" to do the things he does. Thing is, she has mad skills beyond that already with her PT training, so she is just the person to deal with me — "The Human Pretzel."

Since I last saw Bill, things have gotten all high tech and shit. SBZ had these crazy foot scanners, like something out of Star Trek. My new orthotics are going to be sick! We did have some issues getting my "go to" bike, the Superfly XX into the trainer. I have taken to running man-size tires — Bontrager Jones Xr 2.25's. They don't fit in a trainer apparently, who knew? BUT, happily enough, I now run the kooky Sram XX which means I can throw a road wheel with a Sram Force cassette on it on my bike and it will...

kind of work.

At least it worked well enough for our purposes.

My orthotics are on their way and in the meantime I am doing some muscle energy exercises SBZ told me to do. I am feeling better already.

In other news. I am heading out for a Single Speed ride tomorrow. That's right. Big day...big day. The plan is to do a couple or so hour ride with Randy Jacobs out to a couple hour ride with MKR and Cologne Rooter and company (and then drink BEER). The ride will be ridden by folks predominantly on single speeds, I couldn't be the odd man out, I had to get my SS back up and running. This was no mean feat. I was going to do a whole "how to set up bastard-bitch near-impossible to mount tubeless tires" piece but I failed. I couldn't mount the damn tires. In the above photo there I'm demonstrating how you suds up the sidewall and put a tube in and then remove it, leaving one bead of the tire still hooked. But no dice. The WTB Weirwolf that was on my Ferrous has been sitting flat on the basement floor all winter, getting too accustomed to the idea that it's not a nice, round tire.

So I gave up and put a tube in.
I will flat tomorrow and get dropped and left alone to die in the wilderness of Burlington Massachusetts. My only hope of survival will be to drag myself over to the mall so I can get a strawberry milkshake and a cheeseburger at Johnny Rocket's.

If I do post at all Friday, it's gonna be late, that's all I'm sayin'.

I won't bore you with the fascianting story of how the Superfly SS ("Precious Thing") and The Superfly XX were sharing a rear wheel. Wow, that's a good story, I think it was inspired by one of The Canterbury Tales...fuckin'.

You like that? How I make a nerdy reference and then get self conscious about it so I temper it by acting dumb and saying "...fuckin'."

Suffice it to say, I will be racing the Superfly XX on an old Bontrager Race Lite instead of on a lighter, better Race X Lite so my single speed can live again. Never mind the fact that the Ferrous ("Dunderchee") is now missing a front wheel due to this whole re-shuffling...don't get me staahted. Anyone know of a wheel manufacturer with really bad judgment when it comes to sponsoring riders?

And I know you wanted to see SBZ's assistant, Coconut without my inept, photo-shopping embellishments. Is she really less scary? OK, maybe she no longer wants to eat your face while you're sleeping but she still looks like she's being incredibly judgmental. What Coco? What is it? What did I do now? Stop looking at me like that! I...I can't take it, AAAH!

And I leave you with the Mighty Boosh and Howard as "The angry crab of trapped wind."

No Further Questions!


trackrich said...

I feel so much better now... I'm not the only loser with shitty lighting in their bike workshop which forces me to wear a headlamp when I want to do anything more involved than lubing a chain.

Sara said...

OMG!!!! What have you done to my cat??
I am speechless....
But, when I woke up this morning, she was perched on my chest....maybe waiting to kill me in my sleep.
Glad you are feeling a bit better!
Keep me posted.

zencycle said...

I don't trust that cat....or any cat.....

velocb said...

Thom you know if you ever get sick of the bike game, blogging and writing you may have a future as a rock star cat photographer!

I mean those are some quality cat if you could broaden your scope to include dog and bird photography you might have a serious empire in the making!

Emily said...

2 bikes sharing one wheel, Millers Tale obvs.
So which Tale inspired my story of having two rear wheels but not a single useable front wheel? Which is a WAY WORSE story.