The Angry Fiddler Crab of Trapped Wind

So the other day, in an effort to get my pedaling like a fiddler crab issues worked out, I went to see Sara Bresnick-Zocchi at Pedal Power Coaching. But there's more to it than that. I had sent an email to Bill Peterson of We Do Feet in an act of desperation, hoping he could steer me toward someone who could do something like he does. What he does is bicycle fit from the feet up, including custom crazy foot-beds and orthotics. The only time I have truly felt great on the bike was after he got me sorted before the '08 season. Unfortunately for me and fortunately for him, he has stopped his practice of coming up to a lovely mini-mall in Rhode Island to do fittings a few times a year. He is now in Tucson full time. There was no way I could schedule an appointment during my 36 hour visit to Tucson in February for SSUSA/AZ, which was too bad.

Bill got back to me with the quickness, telling me that he had just trained someone in my area — Sara Bresnick-Zocchi, A.K.A. "SBZ" to do the things he does. Thing is, she has mad skills beyond that already with her PT training, so she is just the person to deal with me — "The Human Pretzel."



Since I last saw Bill, things have gotten all high tech and shit. SBZ had these crazy foot scanners, like something out of Star Trek. My new orthotics are going to be sick! We did have some issues getting my "go to" bike, the Superfly XX into the trainer. I have taken to running man-size tires — Bontrager Jones Xr 2.25's. They don't fit in a trainer apparently, who knew? BUT, happily enough, I now run the kooky Sram XX which means I can throw a road wheel with a Sram Force cassette on it on my bike and it will...

kind of work.

At least it worked well enough for our purposes.

My orthotics are on their way and in the meantime I am doing some muscle energy exercises SBZ told me to do. I am feeling better already.



In other news. I am heading out for a Single Speed ride tomorrow. That's right. Big day...big day. The plan is to do a couple or so hour ride with Randy Jacobs out to a couple hour ride with MKR and Cologne Rooter and company (and then drink BEER). The ride will be ridden by folks predominantly on single speeds, I couldn't be the odd man out, I had to get my SS back up and running. This was no mean feat. I was going to do a whole "how to set up bastard-bitch near-impossible to mount tubeless tires" piece but I failed. I couldn't mount the damn tires. In the above photo there I'm demonstrating how you suds up the sidewall and put a tube in and then remove it, leaving one bead of the tire still hooked. But no dice. The WTB Weirwolf that was on my Ferrous has been sitting flat on the basement floor all winter, getting too accustomed to the idea that it's not a nice, round tire.

So I gave up and put a tube in.
I will flat tomorrow and get dropped and left alone to die in the wilderness of Burlington Massachusetts. My only hope of survival will be to drag myself over to the mall so I can get a strawberry milkshake and a cheeseburger at Johnny Rocket's.

If I do post at all Friday, it's gonna be late, that's all I'm sayin'.



I won't bore you with the fascianting story of how the Superfly SS ("Precious Thing") and The Superfly XX were sharing a rear wheel. Wow, that's a good story, I think it was inspired by one of The Canterbury Tales...fuckin'.

You like that? How I make a nerdy reference and then get self conscious about it so I temper it by acting dumb and saying "...fuckin'."

Suffice it to say, I will be racing the Superfly XX on an old Bontrager Race Lite instead of on a lighter, better Race X Lite so my single speed can live again. Never mind the fact that the Ferrous ("Dunderchee") is now missing a front wheel due to this whole re-shuffling...don't get me staahted. Anyone know of a wheel manufacturer with really bad judgment when it comes to sponsoring riders?



And I know you wanted to see SBZ's assistant, Coconut without my inept, Rathergood.com-style photo-shopping embellishments. Is she really less scary? OK, maybe she no longer wants to eat your face while you're sleeping but she still looks like she's being incredibly judgmental. What Coco? What is it? What did I do now? Stop looking at me like that! I...I can't take it, AAAH!




And I leave you with the Mighty Boosh and Howard as "The angry crab of trapped wind."

No Further Questions!

Friday Faux Toes

That's how classy I am — I make coffee at home and then put it in a recycled Dunkin Donuts iced coffee cup. Don't worry, at least it was from my own recycling bin, not the recycling bin of someone else. Oh ya, like my aseptic workshop? Pretty nice huh? Bikes are for riding, not working on. Someone will clean my workshop when I'm dead (from Clean Streak Metal-Prep polluting my iced coffee).


I was stoked to have company for my commute home Thursday. SBZ, VeloCB, and Jane (Jane only exists in real life, not on the internets) all showed up for a Super-Connector ride from Bedford back to Somerville.


CB was rockin' the new HUP "B-Sample" kit. He is a picture of poise and composure on the bike.



Jane slides down the steep embankment at the Sand Pits, narrowly avoiding taking a swim in the cool water three feet to her left. Wouldn't have been a better shot if it actually included the water...three feet to her left?


Sick! We're totally shredding the gnar — er, I mean "honkin' on bo bo" (thanks LPB) on the Minuteman Bike Path


CB at the top of Whipple Hill (a little slice of Maine, but with more broken glass, right here in Arlington, MA).



As soon as we started riding SBZ said "Thom are your shorts on straight?" "Probably, but my ass might not be put on straight." Luckily I had an appointment scheduled with her for a fit/Orthotic-consultation for later that day. But more on that sometime next week.

Monday...first actual race report of the season, oh man, it's gonna be nuts. Watch out now!

Have a nice weekend drinking out of your normal-people coffee cups, and maybe I'll see you at the Grind.

-t

Now With More Clickiness Factor

This is a pretty exciting Monday — a week from today I will be posting my first race-type-report of the season. Sunday's race in Rhode Island, The EFTA Glocester Grind will mark the first time I've race raced on gears since The Fat Tire Classic back in '08. It is a brutal, technical race that's more like a mountain bike ride than most races I've done. It's a feat just to finish the thing with your bike and body intact. We'll see how the XX holds up to the test. The XX and my teeth, I'm hoping not to pull any face-plants into any rock gardens this year.

2008 report HERE.
And 2009 report...WHERE?
I actually have no idea. I did the race, and I sucked it big time. I have no idea where I hid the report. Maybe you can find it.

One "quick" "tech" thing.

I've been having major issues with the stock buckles on my Shimano M230 shoes. I'm on my third or fourth pair of buckles at this point. I had just installed a new set last week and about two days after I did — WHAM! — nailed one on a rock. After that it didn't work so well and eventually I snapped it right off while over clickety-clicking it. While the shoes were off-line, I started wearing my old, beat up M225's and although they don't fit nearly as well as the crazy, moldable M230's, I found that the buckle was WAY better. I mean, even when the flimsy M230 buckles are functioning 100% awesome they are still rickety bitches compared to the old M225 buckle system.

Wow, this is exciting stuff. Almost as exciting as the time I was watching Conan The Destroyer the other night while doing yoga. There's this scene where Conan, after stabbing a dude on a horse to death, swings a vicious right hook into the dude's horse's jaw — knocking it out cold. I'm not making this up, it really happened, see:




That thing below, that's my girlie-man, old 230 buckle. It sucks.


So I replaced it with the non-matching but much more assertive and bad-ass M225 buckle. Ask your bike shop for 'em, I'm sure they've got them in the back. Except for my shop, because I cleaned them out.

Ah, now my fancy custom-fit shoe is that much more sweet.

See above: the strap is slightly more narrow but it doesn't really matter. It works really well.
The clickiness factor on this buckle is so much stronger than the, what did I just call it" — "Clickiness factor"of the stock 230 buckle.

Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a M230 out on the trails, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking, um...lever on the buckle 'til it goes "click." (Which will be about three times before it breaks).

-t