Monday, May 03, 2010

Middlesex Fells Opening Day

Wow, I just realized that I have exactly ten minutes to write this...whatever this is. This probably won't amount to much. Well, I guess I'd rather show up and be totally weak than not show up at all. Isn't there a saying that goes something like that? — "The first step toward being totally weak is showing up." Ya I got excuses, not entertaining good ones, but excuses nonetheless. School is finishing up, and once that crap is over I'll have more time to was-...I mean devote to the blawging.

Now: NEMBA Fells opening day event in 50 words or less.

Will deals with the consequences of riding like such a bad ass while Kevin demonstrates some weird OCD thing where he has to tap his head repeatedly on chain-stays until someone says the magic words "knock that off you idiot."

Tyler Evans and LG4 (Lloyd Graves IV) of Independent Fabrication discuss the finer points of welding Reynolds 953 and pooping in your pants.

Tiffany Mann made an appearance. She was actually carrying her two children in her jersey pockets like a backwards marsupial. It didn't slow her down.

Philip Keyes himself made the second of my two "Hammer Rides," yes really "Hammer Rides." He wasn't afraid. Next time we'll call them "Pink Fuzzy Bunny Unicorn" rides and see if we get more takers. The whole "hammer" thing might have scared off a couple people.

The Bill "The Old Coot" Boles was out there with an entourage of EMTs to deal with all the riders he destroyed on the trail. "There's nothing we can do for him...his soul is crushed!"

And speaking of crushed souls...after the second hammer ride of the day Sweeney was ready for a nap but LG4 kept him up trying to convince him that a chamois is very much like a diaper and that he should just poop in his pants. "Do it!"

Yes I mentioned pooping in pants twice in the shortest post ever. What can I say? time was short, I had to go for the jugular, or the sphincter as the case may be.


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