Big Bikes

Fuzzy's Dream

I ran into John Fuzzy Mylne a while back. It was the night before SSUSA in Tucson. We were at "registration" at The Surly Wench. He told me that he had just recently had a dream about me, in the dream, I was Vince The Slap Chop Guy. I forget if he told me what I was doing in the dream, but my mind was blown. I had just a week or so before sent in my blogger grant application for The Breck Epic. On the application form I was asked who would play me in the Breck Epic movie. In the past, people have told me I look like everyone from whiny wuss-bag Billy Corgan to squinty bad-ass Clint Eastwood.

Of course Corgan is not an actor, he is a washed up musician, and saying that Clint Eastwood should play me would be poor form. You can't say that you want someone awesome to play you, you have to choose the lamest possible option. It's the law.

Guess who I chose to play me.
You got it — Vince The Slap Chop guy.

BUT, the crazy thing is that it had never occurred to me at any time prior to this that I bore any kind of physical resemblance to MR. "You're gonna love my nuts!" This coincidence was just straight up eerie. And yes, the resemblance is uncanny as well. It's more in the lanky-un-muscled-cartoonish-gesticulations and twitchy-nervous-energy than anything. We also both have a proclivity for beating up prostitutes (and getting a little beat up ourselves in the process) but that's another story.

Despite all my rage, I am still just a whiny-douche in a bad sweater

I'm not sure what's up with the blogger grant thing. As far as I know it's happening (I don't know if I'll actually be a contestant). They said they were going to post the contestant entries on March 1st. I have no concept of time, but I think that date has come and gone. I'm keeping my fingers crossed though, Breck would be my big race of the summer, which segues nicely into a discussion of...

Things I'm thinking of doing.

EFTA kicks of their season with the King of Burlingame off-road time trial this coming weekend...I will not be there. Though I did it last year, and it was awesome. Here's my deal. I am in school five days a week and working the other two until mid-May. I will not be doing much in the way of racing until school's out. There will be exceptions, such as my trip up to Vermont for George W's Gravel Grinder race on April 18th.

After that I'm going to try to hold off until the end of school, kicking things off a little later than usual with Doug Peckham's demented Glocester Grind race on May 16th. This is a race I really enjoy, although it kicks my ass.

I also can't pass up a race like the Weeping Willow, which is a half hour from my house at a new venue that happens to be one of my favorite places to ride. From then on out I'll be trying to do as many EFTAs as possible. The past couple seasons I concentrated more on the Root 66 races, this season I'll throw a couple in, but the focus is on EFTA, at least as far as local stuff goes.

I'd love to do The Lumberjack 100, but just as I did last year, I completely blew it and forgot about registration and now it's sold out once again. If there's someone out there who can pull some strings or have somebody killed to get me in, I would jump at the chance to do the thing. I promise I'll write a rave review of the event...because it really needs to be more popular.

Ah look, it's bedtime and I have already far-surpassed my temporary word count cap, I will try to find an opportunity to segue back into things I'm thinking of doing later in the week.

-t