Big Bikes

The Epic Riding Before The Epic Imbibing

When I said I spent five hours riding in the hot sun in preparation for the Bachelor Pub Crawl Death March, I wasn't kidding...or lying either. Half of the crap I say over here is totally made up and the other half is imagined. Nobody is fact checking The Big Bikes and that's the way we like it.

At about noon on Saturday Andy and Jeff (I am going to continue linking to his "retired" blog until the plonker writes something new. If you have time to raise a child, you have time to blog) showed up at the house. Then we prepared our bikes, tripping over each other as we worked out of my rickety, ghetto as hell house tool box. We turned Jeff's IF 29" into a single speed with a "feathery light" 32 X 17 and I installed a new pair of Bontrager 29-3s which I will be reviewing on the Crew Site, perhaps Wednesday.

Andy's Igleheart Franken-Bike. Check out the overlapping Juicy hydraulic brakes.
We stopped to chat frequently, I don't to see these guys nearly
enough and this is the only catching up we get to do.

The plan was a Semi-Suburban epic, linking together all the stuff in my neighborhood and beyond. I thought Jeff would enjoy this, he doesn't get to ride over broken glass and beer cans enough up in Waitsfield, VT. We started with a taste of The Fells, staying in there just long enough to realize how much riding there sucks on a beautiful Saturday when it's full of hikers and dog walkers. So we cut out and hit Horn Pond Mountain. It's a mean little bastard that one. But the descent and the singletrack linking up to the powerlines that take you up toward Lexington are sweet!

En route to Bedford and Burlington Landlocked Forest we cut through the swimming hole in Lexington. I was not shocked to see that the ratty old tree which for years had anchored a rope swing had finally met its demise. Apparently to a very loud and fat gentleman who was present when we arrived there. By all appearances he was wasted, but he only had ice tea and ginger ale to offer us. You can hear his floral voice in the background of the video below. After my trip to Highland I was feeling a little daring and took the Superfly for a little flight off some roots and down a steep, sandy embankment...barely arresting my skid before I hit the water. The first effort almost landed me on Jeff's bike.

Super Flight from thom parsons on Vimeo.

From there we ripped through Willard Woods and over to Bedford where we rode around in incredibly entertaining circles on some of the best cut trails I know. The new markers are key, thanks PK and MKR, you guys are both the man...or the men. We thoroughly appreciated your work.



Jeff had pre-hydrated for the ride with several Long Trail Ales (Hmm, that gives me an idea...aah, that's better, thanks for leaving me some of those Long Trails in the fridge JW), this perhaps left him feeling a little off. So while he took a nap Andy made a totally unrideable pile of rocks slightly less unrideable (at least for him because he's a Super Army Bike Soldier) check it out:

Andy...Rocks from thom parsons on Vimeo.

Somehow I thought it was a good idea to drink just two bottles in five hours on a near 80° day and eat nothing but a package of Gu Chomps. We were all pretty hurtin' by the time we reached Lexington center. Dreams of ice coffee and pastries at Pete's Coffee gave way to a burning desire for Coke, potato chips, and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

We wound up getting back to the house at 6, barely enough downtime to get showered and down to The Bones for the start of the pub crawl. And that, was a damn good day.

-t