Tuesday, June 02, 2009

This Is What I'm Doing Sunday

Stupid things people have said to me throughout the course of my short,
half-forgotten already life:

In a discussion about being strapped for time due to work and other obligations (in the speaker's case school, in my case bike racing):

"Ya, but you choose to race your bike"

Right, and someone forces you to go to school. I'm pretty sure that was a big problem under the Taliban regime in Afghanistan, women being forced to go to school.

Stupid things people do only when in a bike shop:

Man walks up to service counter at bike shop, asks when he can get his bike back, he is told that it can be ready for him in four days.

Man: "Hmm, that's not going to work for me"

SW (Service Writer): "Sorry, that's the best I can do"

Man: "Well, I'll have to take my business elsewhere"

SW: "Wish I could do something for you"

I like to use the Strarbucks model when trying to convey how fucking absurd people act when they come into a bike shop. Mainly because people act like enormous assholes when they're at Starbucks and I only wished they showed a modicum of the same etiquette while in a bike shop. Using the Starbucks model in this case, imagine a man walking into a Starbucks with a line out the door, he screams from the back of the line "I want my coffee now! If you do not give it to me now, I will take my business elsewhere!".

In that case It is obvious that he has about as much leverage as a 15mm Cone wrench on a seized pedal (bad bike shop analogy). Sorry sir but the reason we can't work on your bike right now is because we have so many bikes to work on, comma ("comma" implies the word "asshole" after it. Borrowed from Partners in Health founder Paul Farmer).

That's it for today. Must break cycle of anger and sleepiness.

And yes, I am doing that NYC Race Sunday, for real-Zs.


Frenchy aka Bike Boy said...

I was just coming here to harass you....NICE.
Entry is on me.

RMM said...

I have been guilty of doing this...but let me explain two things:

1. There are shops that will bump you to the front of the line, if they know you and like you (oh and the shops are reputable).

2. I am a well-established pushy asshole.

3. Wouldn't a shop want to bump a good customer to the front of the repair line, you know bump them ahead of the beater bikes?

4. Though I have worked for years in the service industry, I have never worked in a bike shop, so maybe I know nothing. In the fancy restaurant, we had a VIP code that we punched in when we placed an order for a mover or a shaker. That order would receive preference over the orders of the philistines.

RMM said...

OK I explained 4...