Wednesday, January 20, 2010

So Stupid With The Basal Metabolic Rate

Alright so the first rule of Fat Club was, that I was not going to talk about Fat Club. Except for on Tuesdays when I would talk about Fat Club until I was blue in my fat face. I now have to break this rule because, just after I posted yesterday's post, M (My wife) pointed out that I had ignored a rather crucial step in the process.

I had forgotten all about Mr. Harris Benedict and his Wunderbar Equation. After I went HERE to calculate my Basal Metabolic Rate, I was then supposed to go HERE , determine my total daily caloric needs, then multiple my BMR by the number given in the supplied chart.

This is where I think I rank on the chart:

If you are moderatetely active (moderate exercise/sports 3-5 days/week) : Calorie-Calculation = BMR x 1.55

And yes "moderately" was misspelled and no I would not, at this time, classify myself as "very active," I am not doing "hard exercise/sports 6-7 days a week." At least two days are allocated to completely and utterly faffing off right now. Just wait till I get busy, this blog is gonna take such a nose-dive in quality, you won't know what hit you. Unless you're standing under a security camera, then they might be able to rewind the tape and figure it out. I'm going to guess...sock monkey poop. It's odorless and looks like little, black buttons.

And when you multiply my Basal Metabolic Rate by 1.55 you get a much better number — 2757.78325

Thanks Harris Benedict, you're the man! And that egg dish you invented is even better than your equation. And thanks to your equation, I can eat it too. That's just silly, everyone knows Harris Benedict didn't invent "Eggs Benedict!"

Benedict Arnold did.

By accident though. He was selling American culinary secrets to the British. The British Empire desired, more than anything else, the recipe for the Dunkin Donuts Bacon, Egg & Cheese. BUT, through a fateful game of telephone, Benedict's messages were garbled and by the time the recipe reached London it was completely confused. What was a pure assembly of bacon, egg, and cheese on a real American Croissant, became a tangled mess of English muffin (what else?), poached eggs, ham, spinach (you ain't gonna find that at Dunkin's kid!), and Hollandaise sauce.

Oh yes, the photos. We went skiing for two days in New Hampshire this past weekend and all I took photos of was this weird, woolly mammoth of a horse named Bob.


Kathleen Fulton said...


Fat Chance said...

"first rule of fat club..."- great.

matty o said...

eat less, lose two cents.