Friday, March 18, 2011

A Colombian Necktie For Facebook

Remember yesterday when said I was all show and no tell but it turned out I was full of shit...lots of shit. Well today I really am all show no tell. I'm basically going to babble about a couple videos and then fuck off. I have a couple very stressful deadlines to meet, real crazy stuff. One deadline involves a super secret project I'm working on with CycloWhat?

Came across the above video over on Tomi's blog yesterday. As visually striking, fun, and hilarious as it is,
I was also taken with the excellently rockin' song by Guidance Counselor. It's called "I Don't Wanna Speak" and you can find more songs like it over on their Myspace page. I could take a dig at Myspace because that's an obvious thing to do, but let me ask you this: back when you were all up on Myspace, did you ever think that it was going to end? Not just end but end the way it did, with a totally aseptic social networking site with a stupid name like "Facebook" coming along and totally eclipsing it? Someday another site will come along, maybe one with less of a propensity for sharing personal information, and that site will slit Facebook's throat and pull its tongue out through the gaping hole and let it hang there like a macabre necktie just as Facebook did to Myspace. Then we'll all be making jokes about how lame and creepy and full of pedophiles Facebook is. "Oh, Facebook, that thing is just for bands and pedophiles...and pedophile bands* now." What, you've never heard of pedophile bands? Anti-gay pastors are really into them.

Think it can't happen? One made up word for you: Friendster.

Whoa, way off the cupcake cannon track there. If you want to learn about cupcakes and cannons and things of that nature, go ahead and read the excerpt I snagged from beneath the video on Youtube: 

The Johnny Cupcakes Suitcase Tour stop at Kamp Grizzly was epic. Johnny brought a great crowd, his limited edition tour gear and the inspiration for Kamp's Cupcake Cannon. Portland's Kamp Grizzly developed a steam-punk style pneumatic cupcake cannon and set the stage for eating frosty delights at 120psi. The blasting buffet was documented in at 700fps coming off the Phantom HD Gold. As the evening shook down, cupcake enthusiasts continued to step in front of the cannon and camera. Some shaking in their boots, others perched in zen-like states, ALL were covered in delicious frosting, spongy cake, and showered in a mist of sprinkles.

And this video...I don't know. It's not that extreme or nutty, but it depicts a normal human rider, not some mutant with Red Bull for blood and genetically engineered clones of Evel Knievel's balls for...balls. It's just a well shot video of a dude riding in the sun. Winter has almost left us here in the New England (where we spell "carbon fibre" more like "carbon fiber") but the weather still isn't anywhere near as nice as the weather in this video.

You know Evel got rad on this thing. At least I hope he did. It would make me feel less like crying. 

I've become a big fan of Ed Oxley's Great Rock - Mountain Bike Skills over in the old England. He seems to know his stuff and he has a good time conveying his knowledge of said stuff. I always find it entertaining anyway. I can't say that I have ever ridden a trail with such meticulous rock-armoring as the one shown in this video. It's like riding a roughly built stone walkway the whole way down the hill.

OK, so really now, I will fuck off until Monday. Oh man, I feel like a deadbeat dad, like you guys are all nodding your heads going "Ya...ya, we'll believe this talk about the Monday post when we see the Monday post." I promise it won't be like that time I showed up to your birthday party after the cake was gone, fell asleep on the couch, and pissed my pants. Unless, of course, you would find that entertaining. Then I will totally do that. What's that? Stop talking. Alright fine, see you Monday...I promise. 

* Can't wait until that one shows up in the keyword searches. 

1 comment:

Steevul said...

Don't call it a safety.
Don't call it half-cocked.

More like an ashcan.
More like a time bomb.
More like a stovepipe
Colombian Necktie.