Thursday, January 20, 2011

Please Give Me One Million Pennies

Yesterday I issued a desperate plea for Big Bikes readers to find me a job, and I was only semi-not-semi-serious. The crazy thing is that I actually got some response to my plea. Not in the sense that anyone said "Hey dickhead, I have a job for you," but in the sense that people emailed me with ideas or suggestions. That was nice. Some suggestions were totally insane, like Stevil's suggestion that I move to Santa Cruz and take one of the many bike industry-related jobs there. He tried to tempt me with the gruesome prospect of 70° Januaries. What? And miss out on the Ice Planet Hoth-like conditions that I'm enjoying right now.

I'm from New England and I don't watch mainstream sports; the only common language I have with other human beings around here is hatred of the weather. Israelis have Palestinians, Californians have Mexicans, and Bostonians have the weather. Make hurling around epithets about the weather a hate crime and you'd have another Boston Tea Party. Only this time we'd throw Dunkin Donuts "Boxes O Joe" into the harbor.

The only truly sane and reasonable suggestion I got on the employment front was from Kevin Sweeney, a man who only keeps his seldom-bordering-on-never-updated blog up so that other bloggers have something to link to. He put up a link to a story about Craig Rowin, a comedian who just asked the world for one million dollars — and got it. Watch the video, he is so utterly pleased with himself, he looks like...he looks like...well, he looks just like a guy should look just after he's been given a million dollars for no reason.

What he did was ridiculous. What's more ridiculous is that I would have settled for 1/100 of that amount. That's how much it would take to sustain Big Bikes until my alleged NUE gig with Cyclingdirt happens in April. There's an idea...if you know of an event, particularly one coming up semi-soon that would benefit from Cyclingdirt coverage, contact Cyclingdirt and request coverage...from me. Or just give me one million pennies, either way.

I'm so excited about covering the NUE series, I even made my own map (hey, I'm a very visual person). Things I'm kind of good at: writing, covering events, and drinking beer. Things I'm not really good at: Origami, relationships, and creating slick graphics.


CB2 said...

According to your map the Wilderness 101 is on Long Island.

Luke S said...

The dots on the map seem to be unrelated to events. What do the dots then signify?

Big Bikes said...


it is, they're changing things up a little bit this year.

Luke S,

insert Sarah Palin "surveyor's symbols" joke here.

(It was the biggest image of a U.S. map I could find on the web.)

Montana said...

Covering the NUE series looks like a sweet gig. Still going to be frantically chasing after the leaders like last year?