Thursday, February 12, 2009


Squirrels and Human Hair


How random is this. Last night I write about my highly-scientifical findings regarding the ideal bicycle frame materials, Squirrels and Human Hair. Today I discover that Craig Gaulzetti, master bicycle fitter and one of the World's foremost authorities on Italian bicycles has started up his own frame building company and you'll never guess what these bicycles are made out of - Squirrels and Human Hair.

Sometimes it works that way, great minds fall upon the same idea simultaneously. Sometimes a great mind falls upon an idea while an imbecile falls upon his head while washing his feet in the shower...and then he goes and writes stuff.

From Mr. Gaulzetti's new website:

The design elements of each Gaulzetti Squirrel and Human Hair Bicycle are based upon traditional Italian racing geometry with regard to fit and function, but updated for the rigors of modern racing conditions as well as for the ergonomic demands of contemporary components and repeated washing and rinsing. Gaulzetti Cicli produces a nimble, fast and balanced bicycle comprised completely of Squirrels and Human Hair. The frames are designed to excel under all potential race conditions (except ones involving open flame and cats), especially technical courses where constant hard cornering and the need to find and bury nuts are encountered. Years of experience on the Belgian Kermesse circuit and a history of training and racing on the poor roads of northern Europe and New England and an internship under Paul Mitchell influence each detail. The Gaulzetti Cicli geometry may not be ideal for every cyclist or sane person, but an athlete seeking a pure race bike made of Squirrels and Human Hair need look no further for the ideal bicycle.

Disclaimer: Please do not allow your Gaulzetti Bicycle to escape into the eves of your house and die, creating a horrible stench which may never be fully expunged.

Disclaimer Two: Totally made up. To see what Gaulzetti Cicli is all about go HERE.

Your eyes are probably glazed over from the glut of technical information I have subjected you to today. To lighten things up, more horribly narcissistic self-portraits.

I shaved my head in the middle of winter, now I feel a perpetual draft - I will put a hat on, my Vermont 50 hat, I wear this thing more than almost any other single clothing item - but I am still feeling cool air rushing over my virtually naked dome - I will put another hat on, my SSWC07 Hat...that's a nice hat - but I am still feeling cold.

Good thing I live in the house of a thousand hats - I will put on this Pearl Izumi hat I almost never wear, except under my helmet on very, very cold days, still not enough - now I will don the Alpaca wool cap Jason brought me from Peru, like any good wool item it never gets stinky, amazing, it isn't doing the trick though - my neck is starting to buckle under the weight of these crazy tuques but I will stretch this red turtle fur hat I got in high school on regardless. Brrr.


Good thing I have another High School era turtle fur hat, this one in blue, these things dont wear out, they will probably survive a nuclear war, I hope the giant cockroaches who will then rule the planet like turtle fur - Wow, I also have yellow one, how many turtle fur hats did this greedy, cold-headed, High School Thom P. need? - I am in serious danger of toppling over and impaling my brain on the camera lense, adding this Castelli hat is the straw that broke the ice berg - I'm finally warm enough but now my neck is broken and I can't feel anything but my sweaty head. Why did I cut my hair?

2 comments:

solobreak said...

No cowboy hat?

ryank said...

http://twitpic.com/1gzm0