Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Progress

Left to right, top to bottom:

1.) Eating clean. Although I have recently become a carnivore, I certainly don't turn up my pug nose (which contains virtually no cartilage) at Tofu. During the nearly twenty years I was a vegetarian people would ask "How do you get all the nutrients you need?". And I'd say "Go take a flying f-- at a rolling doughnut, taking a flying f-- at the moon!". No I didn't. I thought about it, and I went out of my way to make sure I got what I needed. That's how. Just because you're eating Wendy's burgers doesn't mean you are fulfilling your daily nutritional requirements by default.

2.) Top cap! The most effectual top cap! I keep a stash of carbon Bontrager top caps in my box. Only the most specialist bikes get them. Some people might say that this is one of the only viable uses of carbon fiber. I beg to differ. I collect the carbon dust from below the bench vise and snort it or sprinkle it on my Corn Flakes. It doesn't seem to have any ill effects.

3.) Squeakin' by. Barely 2mm separates my the Superfly SS's top tube from getting gouged by the brake lever during a jack knifing crash. Nothing beating up a hipster and stealing their sweet fixie top tube pad wouldn't fix. What? You don't think I'm tough enough to beat up a boy in girl jeans? I fight like a wallaby or a Kangaroo. Using my scrawny little arms (despite all the push ups) to hold my opponent by the head, drawing them toward me as I kick and gore them with my toe spikes. Then maybe I eat their face. And steal their top tube pad.

4.) The other viable use of carbon fiber, headset spacers. I keep a stash of the slick Bontrager ones in my box next to my stash of top caps. It's the small things that make me happy. Or kicking small things, like Yorkshire Terriers.

5.) Somebody (me) accidentally ordered two rear brakes. So I installed both the brakes on the rear. My bike is going to lay down the SICKEST skids guy! No. I did have to cut the hose and bleed the front brake though.

6.) Going hydraulic. Can't wait to feel the power. I love the feel of Avid brakes, I only use Sram chains (PC 991s), but I hate how much packaging those guys use. I'm being serious, look at my face...it's very serious looking. CD cases for chains? That is way too much plastic, totally unnecessary. The egg crate packaging for derailleurs and other components. Hey, they're not eggs, they're made out metal and plastic, they won't crack. The little bags that Red components come in? Actually those are kind of useful. You can put glasses, cameras, and tools in them. I once had a rommate who lambasted me for using empty soup cans to mix paint and wash my brushes in (back when I actually made art). "Ugh, (tongue clicking sound) Thom! Now we can't recycle those!".

Should have the bike built up today in its entirety. What do you think the first thing I'm going to do once the last component is installed? The scale! The scale! Take it to the scale! You know what I am speaking about.

2 comments:

Kurt P. said...

i love the fact you are a carnivore again...I thought you might be gay..or something:-) (j/k)

Adrian said...

traitor...