Ultra Endure Guy II- Hey PEZ Cycling Look At You! (You Sexist Douche Bags)

Finally, the long awaited sequel to the immensely popular and well-viewed Ultra Endure Guy Navigating The Mystery video. As always (always? like the past...one times we've done this) the first person to guess whose blog UEG is really reading gets to choose the next blog he reads. (Did I ever even mention that the last blog UEG read was Willow Koerber's? Did I?) If you're looking to read something today...not that I'm saying you shouldn't watch the video, because it's pretty sweet, but if you're say, at work and can't watch a video with sound, then you could check out the post about the hipster traps in NYC I did over on BikeRumor. It might be the best-viewed post I've done over there, and what's encouraging about that is that it is almost entirely made up. No drooling over useless gadgetry, no "hey look at this $20,000 carbon bike!" Just a bunch of crazy-make-em-uppers and weirdness.

Ultra Endure Guy - Navigating The Mystery

Ultra Endure Guy reads from his blog.

An excerpt:

"Y'know in The Matrix when Neo plugs into the back of his head to download new info? Well that's what I'm practicin' through guided meditation."

Got any requests for blog posts you'd like Ultra Endure Guy to read? Hit that contact link in the sidebar and send me an email. I'll talk to UEG and see if he'll fahkin' read it for ya.

If You Can't Handle The Pressure Then Get The F— Out Of The Kitchen

This is one for the much-neglected early rising readers of Big Bikes...or for the vampires (like me) who are still up past midnight on a Sunday. I can't quite figure out how to make the podcast go live and have the link not go dead after a little while without publishing immediately. This only precludes me from pretending that I got up and wrote this crap at 5AM like some Dicky. I also can't figure out how to get the podcast to work without creating a link field and screwing up the whole linked title thing. And I know how you guys love the linked titles so you can just share links to Big Bikes posts all over the place like a bunch of crazy people.

OK wait, maybe I did figure it out...I'm a genius, or not, we'll see. I'll try this "enclosure link" business and see if it works, and being the over-sharer that I am, I will show my work here regardless of the outcome. Peter had the suggestion that I go straight to video, and I tried...I won't share what I tried to do with the video stuff, but it didn't work out. But it would be great if I could work out the video thing, because, at least in my defective mind, it is easier to deal with video than audio. So look for the video later in the week, all you really need to know is that Peter is going to be sorry he requested it.

In today's episode, Ultra Endure Guy drops some major science, real heavy stuff man. Check it out.

"Put Yourself On The Edge Of Yourself" Ultra Endure Guy Part III

Oh, and if you missed out on the controversy I started over on Bike Rumor (just because I made fun of dudes with yellow Hummers and told people to steal air out of their tires...what?), then I suppose you could check that out. Make sure to read all the angry comments. I don't think they get me over there like you people do.

Podcast Experiment #2: Some People Need To Chill

I was going to try to hold off on utilizing my new found audio POWER, maybe metering the podcasts out at a rate of one per week; but I just couldn't do it. Last night, when I recorded the first of my Ultra Endure Guy "podcasts" (I'm still not sure if it is technically a podcast until I get it into itunes...a step that is evading me right now) I went a little nuts, recording maybe five blog post readings in all. And there are more in the works.

I assure you, Ultra Endure Guy is real, he lives in California, and I have no idea why I felt that a Boston townie accent was the appropriate voice for him...I guess it's an attitude thing.

I really hope he:

a.) Has a sense of humor

and

b.) Doesn't feel like using up his frequent flier miles coming to Boston to kill me


In this episode Ultra Endure Guy rules the Serotta forum with an iron fist and sucks womens' cogs "like no other."

"I took some shit today for a classified ad on the Serotta forum today"
Ultra Endure Guy Part Two

Podcast Experiment: Success Or Failure, You Decide

Hey, here we go with the crazy two post a day thing again...wow! Look out! This is my first experiment with Podcasting. It seems to have worked, although I have no idea if I have done everything exactly right. It was more complicated than I thought, not really as easy as recording some audio on my ipod Nano and uploading it to the blog. There are many steps involved, some of which make no sense to me, but if I can figure it out, so can you, so can a six-year-old, and so can a brain-damaged gerbil.

I have no idea if what I have done here is legal, I have no doubt that it is not right, but if reading content from the blog of someone else...in a funny voice is wrong, then I don't want to be right! Here it is:

Ultra Endure Guy Podcast

If this type of thing works for you, I'd be happy to take requests for other blogs you might want me to read content from in a weird voice. And if it doesn't work for you, well, I'll just go choke on a big bowl full of di—didegridoos.

I swear I was going to say "didgeridoos;" even if "a big bowl full of didgeridoos" makes zero sense.