Monday, November 23, 2009

The Thom Parsons
(Bacon Egg & Cheese on a Boston Cream Donut)

You may have noticed that little Paypal "Donate" button over on the sidebar there. You probably thought to yourself, "why in the hell would I give money to this guy?" I don't expect you to give me your hard-earned money for nothing, I intend to work for it. It's an experiment, we'll see if it works. I gotta raise the funds for SSWC New Zealand somehow.

This my proposal: I am going to throw a figure out there, say $100, and when I find that there's $100 in my Paypal account, I will then perform a heinous, self-destructive act purely for your entertainment. In the future perhaps I will take requests — I will be your trained bike monkey, stopping just short of murder and the eating of raw tomatoes for your enjoyment.

The heinous, self-destructive act I intend to perform is this: I will enter a Dunkin Donuts, order a "bacon egg & cheese on a Boston cream donut." If the people at the counter refuse to fulfill my order, I will then proceed to order a bacon egg and cheese and a Boston cream donut...and ask for a knife. This will all be caught on film. Perhaps photographs with cartoon word bubbles will accompany the post. Of course I will then eat this culinary abomination.

So go click away. The faster the money makes its way into my Paypal account, the sooner I begin my accelerated journey down the path to cardiac arrest. Every dollar counts. It could take hours, it could take weeks, it could take months, maybe we'll never get there and I'll weasel out of this thing. All I know is if every Big Bikes reader donated a dollar today, we would be 3 maybe 4% of the way toward our goal!

In other less disturbing news, I scouted out another section of The Bay Circuit Trail, the section between Fawn Lake in Bedford and Walden Pond in Concord. I won't say it was the most exciting piece of trail I've ever seen, but it had its moments. Regardless of the lack of awesomeness of the trail itself, its function as a connector between other areas in invaluable. It's always good to know where one can get off the pavement and take off on some dirt. Say you spit on a bright yellow Hummer after the driver...drove by you in their bright yellow Hummer. They might try to kill you. It's good to know where you can duck off the road and make an escape.

Too droopy-eyed sleepy to talk about it right now, words and photos tomorrow perhaps, over on the 29er Crew site.



dicky said...

Are you above bestiality? I just need to know ahead of time.

CB2 said...

I eaten far worse for much less.

Big Bikes said...

Dicky - that's a wide open question. There are so many kinds of animals and they vary so much in their attractiveness (and life threatening-ness).

Charlie - see, if you'd just had a blog at the time you were eating those far worse things you might have been able to raise money for a trip to New Zealand.

I'm 10% of the way to my first goal already. If this were a cross country road trip, we'd be in Pennsylvania! Oh man, it's gonna be a long drive.

More Bacon said...

Sounds like my regular pre-race meal.

the original big ring said...

I would eat that. I would.

Adirondack said...

Seriously? The idea has merit- you might be on to something here. Maybe you can sell it to Dunkin Donuts and use that to fund your trip.