Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Time to Get Fat

I have a thing. Even in the privacy of my own home, no one watching, no one around...I will never and I do mean NEVER put on my shirt before my drawers or pants. I will always, and I mean 100% of the time put my boxers on before my shirt. This stems from a traumatic experience I had as a child.

I was watching Animal House with my "very conservative and responsible parents". There's the scene where Boon (Some guy who never got work again) shows up at his girlfriend's (Karen Allen, Indiana Jones fame) house to find that she has a guest, her professor played by Donald Sutherland. Sutherland shambles into the kitchen wearing nothing but a sweater and scratching his backside. He then reaches for a high shelf, briefly exposing his white, doughy, sagging bum.

Severe Trauma.

During that same period of my youth I saw Jaws and a truly awful film about Big Foot. Neither of these did I find as horrifying as Donald Sutherland's ass being unveiled from the bottom of his sweater. I wanted so much to share a photo of this with you, but I could not find it anywhere on the the Inner-Nets. All I accomplished was creating the possibility of a guest user on my computer having "Donald Sutherland's Bum" auto-fill the Google search bar.

This is it. Bike racing is over, you have a winter of this stuff to "look forward to" lucky you.

Sunday I woke up from eleven hours of much needed sleep very hungry. Miriam and I headed over to Washington Square Tavern in Brookline. This establishment is owned by Gerry Finnegan, big time bike guy. The walls are adorned with vintage photographs of early bike racing. The atmosphere is relaxed, calm, and warm. Quite a contrast from the usual spots we hit which however good they might be are generally overrun with obnoxious, pajama wearing Tufts kids who think it's awesome to wear aviator shades indoors.

The food is spectacular. They make a pancake that looks like it might kill you. It's as thick as four normal pancakes, but light, fluffy, and freaking amazing.

The place looks like it's super-expensive and swanky but it's really not (the super-expensive part, swanky it is). Brunch won't cost you any more than it would at Bickford's or IHOP and it's incalculably better.

Just picked this guy up in oh so eager anticipation of another winter of New England bike commuting. It's The River City Pack by Detours. No need to stop and pull out a rain cover, this bugger is totally sealed all the time. Feels like a light Camelbak without the water bladder in. Almost like it's not there at all. Perfect for lugging lunch and a change of clothes to work. I'm trying to get away from commuting with my 1800 cubic inch, overloaded pack all the time. It's killing my back.

A package showed up to work the other day,I had no idea who it was from. Turned out to be a surprise package from Mega-Bottle-Ride. An original watercolor commemorating my place as first East Coaster at Single Speed Worlds 08 in Napa. Pretty damn cool. Georges also sent me some custom Defeet Wool-E-Ator socks, just in time to keep my feet warm as the temperature drops below 50° on my morning commute.

Thanks man, much appreciated.

Oh ya, this is important. We're starting up Night Rides out of IBC Newton tomorrow night. That would be Wednesday October 8th at 6PM. This will be a regular thing. All are welcome, this is a no drop type ride. Duration about 1 1/2 hours. We'll be hitting Cutler and Nahanton Parks. These are some pretty mellow trails. Call over to the shop and ask for me if you got any questions now.



rick is! said...

I remember that scene in the movie and it is exactly why I always put my shirt on first...

jeff said...

just ate an apple pie for breakfast. chased it down w/a 'nutty bar' i found in my school bag. jenn was all like, "what the heck is a nutty bar", like she doesn't know! it's a quality off-season food product when it costs $0.50 and has 600 calories. i'll take 2 for $1 please.

there's a banana bread on the counter calling my name, gotta go.

Colin R said...

every time i buy a nutty bar Linnea looks disappointed in me. i keep buying nutty bars, though.

GTL said...

I too have started my off-season with a weekend in the Big Apple partying until sunrise both nights and a trip to New Orleans this weekend for a bachelor party, of course I am sick as a dog because of NYC. Anyway, I do disagree with you on one point: Sutherland's ass was not doughy and saggy, it was quite firm, in fact he was at the height of his ass-getting career, he was a specimen, but it was bare.

Frenchy aka Bike Boy said...

Every season is a good excuse to get fat and eat too much.

Glad you like the hommage and I look forward to reading the next adventures: cross and winter commutes.

Miriam K said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miriam K said...

Trauma does mysterious things to memories, often searing distorted images in ones brain. As you will see from the link below, Donald’s buttocks, while shocking in context, is not, as you put it, “doughy” or “sagging”. The good news is that it is not too late to stimulate new neural pathways that can replace disturbing images and memories. I suggest a course of treatment that involves looking at the following image on a daily basis, perhaps as part of your morning routine. The time of day is not that important, but just make sure that it is during a time of relaxation so that positive associations can be made with the image. This being said, I do think that the world might be a better place if more people followed Tobias’ lead and were never-nudes.


Couldn't get it to copy as a link...so cut, paste, and enjoy!

Andy said...

you know, you told me about the whole Animal House/Donald Southerland scene years ago, and it stuck in my head to this day, because I remembered it instantly. Who doesnt know Animal House?? So every morning when I'm getting dressed I put on my shirt first and think of you Thom. And i laugh just a little.
BTW, mey favorite scene in that classic flick...The EAT ME cake in the parade of course!

Wheels said...

Ever put leg warmers on before your bike shorts? Shirt or no shirt, it feels really incomplete. I'm just gonna read your Kahuna posts all winter.

Mark said...

Hi, About the package you received... Well I started reading your blog recently after seeing a comment about a friends photo on flickr. I dunno why but I clicked on the posters avatar to see his photostream ( http://www.flickr.com/photos/67486719@N00/ ), and on there was a series of photo's plotting the evolution of the watercolour you describe in this blog. In the description of one of the pics the artist refers to you by name, which caused me to do a search on your name to see what it was all about.. The search led me to your blog, and have read it ever since..Whilst not being a (MTB) singlespeeder ( I do have a fixed road bike) I have nevertheless enjoyed reading thus far, and would like to say that a number of the guys I ride with are S.Speeders and seem to have no trouble riding any type of terrain we have over here in the U.K
Anyway I just wanted to share that with you for some reason, probably because it was spooky to see the very thimg that led me to your blog appear on your blog ( if that makes sense)
So to sign off, good luck with all your riding and racing, and keep writing.. it's very entertaining

mark said...

A ha, I just read all the comments and I've realised that it was "frenchy aka bikeboy" that led me here..
As we say over here... "cheers me duck" ; )