Big Bikes

Semi-Pro Short Track National Short Race – Shorter Report (hopefully, but I can’t make any promises)

Why did I sign up for three races in three days? I didn’t think about the consequences much like the time I blind-sided Derrick Hughes with a flying choke hold during a schoolyard brawl in 4th grade. He did go down, but not for long, and the ultimate result was me getting body slammed to the hard ground like a rag doll. I feel much worse than that right now, much worse. Probably because I tried to throw a flying choke on a mountain this weekend and the result was that IT body slammed me to the ground for a total of four and a half hours over the past three days. But I’ll be stronger for it right? Please tell me I’ll reap some sort of benefit from this horribly failed experiment.
Short Track, it’s the deformed love child of Mountain Biking and Cyclocross. Like a flipper baby with Nunchucks where it’s flippers should be. When you coo at it whacks you in the mouth with it’s deadly wooden appendages. Bastard, stupid, Numb-Chunk baby.

Me and Wheels Hammering away.

So I’m last up the hill into the first corner, only one way to go from there, each lap I’m able to move up, mostly on the small hill, which was nice because that’s where my family was watching so at least I looked alright in front of them. I rode around drooling, panting, and grimacing for about twenty minutes before Todd Wheelden gapped back up to me and made the pass, then we got pulled. At first I thought I’d misunderstood, because when I looked up the leaders were well up the course behind me and in the end the guy who was ten feet in front of me was able to finish. I didn’t really care, I was spent, I’d had quite enough bike racing for a while. 21st place out of about 40…outstanding.
That’s it for me.

The inevitable post-race sprawl.