Big Bikes

His head looks like Jack Nicholson - Don't smile like that, it will stay that way

Matt just sent me some photos from the weekend. I think they capture how oblivious I was prior to the race and how shattered I was post race pretty well. I was struck by how much I have come to resemble my childhood hero Jet-Jaguar (when I smile in a bizarre way). It is possible that by thinking about Jet Jaguar, I was able to alter my facial features to look like his. This is a concept detailed in the Talking Heads song "Seen and Not Seen". I went ahead and found some photos of Jet-Jaguar on the interweb.
I had never really noticed his resemblance to Jack Nicholson. I then stumbled upon a Youtube video where the Mystery Science Theater 3000 guys had "translated" the lyrics to the Jet- Jaguar theme song. "His head looks like Jack Nicholson" was part of the silly "translation".
Then I turned on the TV and there was a show on The History Channel About how Jack Nicholson had hired a mad Japanese scientist to create an army of Super-Mecha-Jet-Jack Nicholsons in his image in the late 60's. They ended up escaping and wreaking havoc which forced the Japanese Military to hire a giant space turtle who loves children to destroy the rogue, crazy-smiling robots. All but two Jet-Jack's were terminated, one was reprogrammed and re-branded as "Jet-Jaguar" while another escaped to the U.S. where he would impregnate my mom.

Isn't it funny how things come in threes? OK, everything after the part about the Youtube video is mostly made up, there was no show on the history channel, but no one can prove that an escaped Jet-Jaguar isn't my dad...unless they use science.

Yeah! Riding bikes is fun! Woo!

What? 4400 feet of climbing in less than 20 miles. How bad can that be?

John Burns was nice enough to hand my ass back to me after the race.

Wait...you didn't cut your own appendix out and throw in the bushes in a desperate act to shave weight during the race? You don't say.

This ain't cuttin' it, I need a recovery drink that replenishes bone marrow, blood, and viscera.