What Goes Down at The Thursday Night NEMBA Burlington Landlocked Ride

I've been going out semi-sporadically with some consistency to "lead" the NEMBA Burlington Landlocked Ride (Thursdays, 6PM Estabrook School, Bedford). The past couple rides have actually been lead by Mike Rowell, a supah-fast local. He's fast anywhere, but this stuff is his backyard, and no matter how hard you fight, he will win. You think you're fast? Come out and play with Mike. You a 'crosser who wants to get some intensity with a bunch of cornering practice thrown in (before you flat, get devoured by mosquitoes, and have to walk home) come out and play with Mike.

Of course there are several other-paced rides, including a women's ride that go off at the same-ish time. So even if you don't want to come out and play with Mike on the, as Adam Glick calls it: "Left For Dead Ride," come out and play nice with others.

I'll be riding the Niner One 9 from South Boston to Burlington at about 4:30 Thursday night, right up Mass Ave. If you're in Somerville, Cambridge, or Arlington, hop on the crazy, 15mph, green train.

- t

The New Ride: Niner One 9 "Green Machine"

I'm suffering from a bad case of black lung from the Boston Bike Mines, but I wanted to share this: I got a new bike from JRA Cycles. And apparently posting photos of your new bike on the Facebooks is about as exciting as posting pictures of your new kid. The outpouring of enthusiasm was as staggering as...me, after three Irish Car Bombs at The Cellar. 

There is no need for me to play the naming game, like some guy who I shall only refer to as George Wisell. My friend Erich busted out "Green Machine" immediately, and it stuck. What better name for a bike ridden by a douche bag who writes a blog named after a Kyuss song?

More on this later. Probably not sooner.

New England Bicycle Expo The Final Chapter: Igleheart vs. Geekhouse vs. Budd Bike Works vs. Silky Cycles...In Space

This is the third and final installment in the New England Bicycle Expo series here on the Big Bikes. I probably could have nursed it for a couple more days, but I have a feeling that more stuff is going to come pouring in....more really awesome stuff. It might be that it's just a feeling. 

The big dog heavy hitter at NEBEs was Christopher Igleheart. He loves it when I call him that...big dog heavy hitter. His flagship at the show was a big ass randonee bike for a guy who's riding Paris Brest Paris. Or, as I say,

Friday Fizzle Out

It's Friday morning, I'm up an hour before I should be, and I'm sitting here drinking a coffee I probably shouldn't be. It has soy milk in it and it's been sitting out since 8:30 AM...yesterday. But I microwaved it, so that'll kill any bacteria or mold, or whatever stuff that was in it that could have killed me or given me explosive diarrhea. I figure insomnia is nature's way of telling me I should go blog about something. Of course what I should really be doing is working on SECRET PROJECT #2 for CycloWhat?

Frame Building Videos: Like Porn For Men Without Penises

FROM STEEL: The Making of a Soulcraft from michael evans on Vimeo.

Not a title I could have used on one of my BikeRumor posts. Unless I wanted to get fired. I guess going into jobs with the intent of getting fired worked for Ricky Gervais with his Golden Globes hosting gigs. But me, I gotta play it safe. For instance, I pulled punches on the "PiCycle" electric "bike" post. Of course I hadn't yet seen the video below where the creepy cartoon Xtranormal woman talks about her coworkers thinking she was "using her pants as a potty" because she rode to work on a bike that actually required her to put out some effort, which resulted in a sweaty bum-bum.

Wicked Pissah Wicked Ride Of The East

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm kind of an ass. I live about twenty minutes from one of the best riding venues in the greater Somerville area: Harold Parker, and I get up there just a few times a season. In fact, this season I made it up there exactly once and that was for the NEMBA Wicked Ride Of The East this past Sunday. By the way, have you renewed your NEMBA "membahship?" For $60 you get 4 issues of Dirt Rag and the very satisfying "I have a belly full of pretty flowers and fuzzy bunnies" feeling associated with supporting a great outfit like NEMBA. However repeatedly remiss I might be about getting my sorry-slightly-hairy-white-ass up to Andover to ride throughout the year, I am 3 and 0 for the past three years with my attendance at the Wicked Ride.

Will Crissman practices his position for a new aerial move he's working on

One appeal of the Wicked Ride over some weekday afternoon ride that I have to fight massive amounts of gnarly traffic to get to, is the big-ass marked loop. The NEMBA guys mark out a 20 or so mile course, utilizing the majority of the available singletrack in Harold Parker. It is pretty sweet. The weather for the Wicked Ride has been ideal for the past few years too, just crisp and cool, typical New England fall stuff. Arm warmers and knee warmers are generally a good idea, but not required. The foliage is past peak, yet the woods are still beautiful, all hues of orange and golden brown. The musty smell of freshly decomposing leaves hangs in the air...it's a smell that will later snap your mind right back to a happy place where you're ripping fast, flowing singletrack interspersed with challenging, rocky, technical bits.


The sad truth is that I almost put an ugly dent in my gleaming perfect Wicked Ride attendance record. I am not that strong a planner. I don't plan. I had no ride to the Wicked Ride on Sunday AM. Just as I was abandoning hope (like the time I abandoned that baby in that dumpster), I got a call from a creepily-mustachioed Greg "The Leg." "Meet us at the Dunkin Donuts in Medford Square." Now, saying "Meet us at the Dunkin Donuts in Medford Square" is like saying "meet me by the fat dentist with the aero bars, riding a Ti Serotta on the bike path," but I was able to pinpoint the location of Greg "the Leg" and our driver, Will Crissman without too much trouble. Of course GTL called my house about five minutes after I talked to him, "Where the fuck are you?" "Uh, I'm just going out the door." "Hurry the fuck up." While riding down there I called GTL to tell him to grab me some stuff at Dunkin Donuts "Dude, get me a medium coffee, regular with a Turbo Shot and an egg and cheese on a sesame bagel." "You'll get something like that and like it" he politely replied.

As I pulled up to the car, I hopped the curb, causing a banana to eject from my bag-pocket. "Put your bike in the car, I'll get the banana" said GTL.



I had been off the bike for basically three entire weeks coming into this ride. I'd produced more green mucus than watts over that period. So the fact that Robbie "I Am I Am Ted King's Brother" King was in our group was a little scary for me. But I was lulled into a sense of "Ah, he's a roadie and, although he may have tons of RAW POWER, he obviously lacks technical skills because I am 'effortlessly' dropping him in the singletrack." Throughout the ride he had little flashes of technical brilliance, and I started to wonder why he was riding off the back so much. Then it happened: Robbie decided to put two and two together, the watts and the skill, and BAM! He dropped me and the rest of the group like we were a bowling balls soaked in olive oil. I just pray that this dude doesn't start racing mountain bikes.

Pete Melish fuels up

I was hurtin' throughout the ride, but apparently all the mad, mad stage racing miles I accrued in Breck and Pisgah allowed me to fake it for a few hard hours. Monday was a different matter, I woke up feeling like I'd aged fifteen years in a seven hours.


The Wicked Ride is awesome, but there is a whole lot of this, the waiting in line to take a run at a technical sections, which is fine. For the most part people are a whole lot better about letting you pass and not standing in the middle of a trail, blocking the entire thing like a bunch of Quebecois in The Northeast Kingdom or some other people in Mobile, Alabama, staring at a leprechaun in a tree.


A highlight of the day was definitely meeting the mysterious author of the Zen of Cycling blog. He had this to say about his meeting with me:

"He's very nice to me, actually _engaging_. Very cool."

Apparently Zen is not a quick judge of character.

He rode with us for quite a while on his vintage Independent with V-Brakes. Hanging tough through most of the ride before pealing off. It's always good to meet your "blog buddies," people you think you know but have never met in real life. It makes them seem more human, which is good for them, because I tend to take them off my "people I am going to kill and eat when I grow up and become a serial killer" list.

Linnea (pronounced like "linear" with a Boston accent) Koons of Embrocation Cycling Journal

By the end of the ride I was as tired and broken down as a Labrador retriever that had been ridden like a pony at a fat kid's birthday party all day, but in a good way.

I sat bolt upright in bed with an earth-shattering epiphany last night...there are good things to come here at the Big Bikes blog. Hold tight.

The Six Ps and Wicked Ride

I know this is an entirely weak way to start the week, but I am going to blatantly divert you over to the Embrocation Cycling Journal site to read Matt Roy's write up about his harrowing trip to Puerto Rico to "Check over 20 pre-assembled bikes" for an Orbea product launch/Opening of an Adventure Park. It's insane and awesome. He talks about the Six Ps (Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance) and employs Rooter as an example of the Piss-poor performance bit. It'll leave you wishing that Matt would quit his wicked-smart-guy lab job and start blogging full time.

And here's one for the calendar: NEMBA Wicked Ride of The East at Harold Parker on October 31st (click the link for details). If you've never ridden HP, this is the way to do it — with a 25 mile marked loop and chili and barbecue waiting for you when you're done. Wild horses wielding fire hoses and tazers couldn't keep me away.

Trek Demos, NEMBA-Fest, and Horrible Hill Climbs For Good Causes

This morning most of my blogging power is being diverted over to the Bike Rumor, got a couple things I'm working on for them.
I did a post yesterday about the Embrocation Cycling Journal/Cinelli Ram 2 custom bar (with some silliness). And I wrote a thing late last night that I thought might push the boundaries of the site's family-friendly content. It's about Fisher-Price toys attacking the genitals of small children. Sounds weird, but it's true and it's better than anything I'm going to write here today, I tell you what.

The photo of the Single-Speed above? That's what I've been doing for the past week: riding my single-speed right out my door and loving it. I can clean stuff on that bike that I have never cleaned on any other bike. I think it's part unicorn.

In the NEWS.

Wednesday night of course we have the Night Weasels in Shrewsbury.

This weekend I'll be up at The Kingdom Trails if anyone wants to meet up for a ride. Trek Demo-guy Dave O' will be up there Saturday at East Burke Sports with a whole fleet of Trek bikes, including carbon Remedies. Info on that:

Demo in the Kingdom

East Burke, VT

Sat. Oct 9th, 2010 @ 10:00 am—3:00 pm

Come by and ride some of the best trails that New England (some say North America)has to offer and while your at it, try out some of the new 2011 full suspension Treks or some Fisher Collection 29ers!

Location:

Kingdom trails

route 114

East Burke, VT

View Map

Directions:

For more info on this great place go to www.kingdomtrails.org We'll be set up on the East Burke Sports parking lot. www.eastburkesports.com

On Monday, that would be Columbus day (not Memorial day, thanks Zen), there's the RDJ Memorial Hill Climb up the gnarly Prospect Hill in Waltham. I won't be around and I don't own a road bike, but if I were and I did, I would be there to hurl myself against that stupid climb like a chickadee against a clean kitchen window. It's a short effort, great training for cross. Really.

Here's a little preview video:



This coming weekend is also NEMBA-Fest up at Bear Brook in New Hampshire. Demo-Dave will be there with the 2011 Treks and there'll be a bunch more demo-bikes available from companies like:

Kona Bicycles, Scott USA, Rocky Mountain Bicycles, Six Six One, Raceface, Kali, Nema, Exposure Lights, Foes, Banchee, MisfitPsycles and more.

There are going to be skills clinics, group rides, night rides, and all sorts of other good stuff. Go HERE for more info.

Apparently there's some big, weird cross-festival going on in Providence as well. Not that there's anything wrong with that sort of thing.

OK, back to "work."

Bikes, Burritos, and Breck Epicness

Man, the fact that the Breck Epic blogger grant poll is LIVE is a massive time suck for me right now — refresh page, "did I get more votes? Damn!" and repeat. It's extra-ridiculous too because there are fifteen days left in the contest, anything could happen. Right now things are looking good though, thanks to you guys I've closed down the gargantuan gap Sara Uhl had put on me in the first 24 hours. Right now she's only up by two. If you haven't voted yet, go to this link, click the little bubble by my name, which is Thom "Rocky Donizetti" Parsons, and then hit the "Vote Foo" button below. It's wicked easy kid, and word is you no longer have to "expose your privates," or give up your privacy in any way. Ya, I only have to finish top four but I don't want to get too comfortable and I definitely don't want to not bug you guys about this for a single day until the end of the contest on June 11th. It's like a public radio fund-drive except I don't have any fucking tote bags to give you. Sorry.


Way back on Monday night I went to see the Follow Me premiere at the Middlesex Lounge, it was awesome. It was just cool to hang out in a crowded bar, watching a sick mountain bike film. The place was packed to the gills and people were walking by going "what the hell are they watching in there." I felt like I was in some place like Durango, where every sub shop has mountain bike videos playing 24-7. The film itself was incredible. It had all the insane drop, X-Games type stuff, but it also had style behind and in front of the camera. I get down with the sort of extreme XC scenes, stuff where I'm saying "I could do that. Sort of. Just maybe slower and with way less style."


I meandered over to the premiere in Central Square solo (while wearing my favorite shirt), stopping at Olecito on the way to grab a burrito. They are really the only game in town as far as I'm concerned. I'm still not drinking the Anna's Taqueria Kool-Aid.

The only camera I'm using right now is my Go Pro Helmet Hero. What it lacks in playback ability or low-light capability, it makes up for with its spy-camera, I'm so damn wide angle I can shoot everything in sight qualities. I just leave it on photo every two seconds mode and let 'er rip. I might not know what I'm getting but the fact that I'm taking six-hundred photos increases the statistical likelihood that I will get something that isn't total crap.



Sometimes, if you're as awesome as I am, you forget to put the memory card back in and then you go to lead a NEMBA ride and your Go Pro stops shooting after ten shots (that's all its internal memory holds) and all you get is a couple sweet shots of the parking lot. The ride went well though, only one guy almost knocked his teeth out.

Something I was chatting about with folks at the movie premiere was that, no matter how sick the riding in a mountain bike film is, the music is almost always frickin' horrible. Ya sure, I wouldn't want to subject people the stupid crap I listened to when I was a kid, but man...the stuff they put in these things is bad. Seriously. That's why I was stoked when I happened upon this video of some dudes trying out the Sram XX out in Santa Cruz. It's a nice, little piece with lots of fastness and flowiness, but what I found particularly sweet was the Murder City Devils soundtrack. Good stuff.

Brendan Fairclough and Curtis Keene in Santa Cruz from Taylor Sage on Vimeo.

Well, I gotta get up early again to work a bike rodeo with VeloCB, and ya, it's 2AM now. Hopefully I can keep it together and not go all Shakes The Clown on the kiddos this time. That "Shakes The Clown" clip isn't really appropriate (not sure what it's appropriate for) but there's a dearth of good Shakes clips on the Youtubes. Somebody should do something about that. Screw the Breck Epic blogger grant; somebody should do a "Put More Shakes The Clown Clips on Youtube stoner grant." Just pay some thirty-five-year-old dude living in his mom's basement with a bunch of weed to sit and watch "Shakes The Clown" a couple dozen times and post the best clips on Youtube.

That's all I got, that and this one, final shot of the Varsity in sepia-tone.

Fells Opening Day Part II

The blog is going to be running a little bit lean for the next week and a half. Finals, papers, actually wanting to ride my bike, and sleep just a little...ah! You don't care. There is a semi-real post up on the 29er Crew blog today, so go CHECK THAT OUT will you.

Middlesex Fells Opening Day

Wow, I just realized that I have exactly ten minutes to write this...whatever this is. This probably won't amount to much. Well, I guess I'd rather show up and be totally weak than not show up at all. Isn't there a saying that goes something like that? — "The first step toward being totally weak is showing up." Ya I got excuses, not entertaining good ones, but excuses nonetheless. School is finishing up, and once that crap is over I'll have more time to was-...I mean devote to the blawging.

Now: NEMBA Fells opening day event in 50 words or less.


Will deals with the consequences of riding like such a bad ass while Kevin demonstrates some weird OCD thing where he has to tap his head repeatedly on chain-stays until someone says the magic words "knock that off you idiot."

Tyler Evans and LG4 (Lloyd Graves IV) of Independent Fabrication discuss the finer points of welding Reynolds 953 and pooping in your pants.

Tiffany Mann made an appearance. She was actually carrying her two children in her jersey pockets like a backwards marsupial. It didn't slow her down.

Philip Keyes himself made the second of my two "Hammer Rides," yes really "Hammer Rides." He wasn't afraid. Next time we'll call them "Pink Fuzzy Bunny Unicorn" rides and see if we get more takers. The whole "hammer" thing might have scared off a couple people.

The Bill "The Old Coot" Boles was out there with an entourage of EMTs to deal with all the riders he destroyed on the trail. "There's nothing we can do for him...his soul is crushed!"

And speaking of crushed souls...after the second hammer ride of the day Sweeney was ready for a nap but LG4 kept him up trying to convince him that a chamois is very much like a diaper and that he should just poop in his pants. "Do it!"

Yes I mentioned pooping in pants twice in the shortest post ever. What can I say? time was short, I had to go for the jugular, or the sphincter as the case may be.

-t

Friday Foto Dumpster

The NEMBA Fells opening day event is tomorrow (which you should come to). I'll be leading rides at 9AM and 1PM, and Gary's gonna be there. They are advertised as "hammer rides," but I don't know how many hammers I have to drop after Wednesday night's ride with Gerry and the gang. It seems I did something to my ankle and I'm not sure what. I banged it during the ride, found that I was limping slightly just after the ride, but then, after burgers and a couple beers. and some standing around at the pub, I noticed that I was standing like a god damn flamingo, all my weight on my left foot. By the time I left I was limping like a parody of a guy limping. On the way home I had trouble pushing the gas pedal, using cruise control in light traffic, which I never do. Then, when I got home I was hopping on one foot around the house until I realized that M was asleep and that I was making a huge racket, so I began CRAWLING around on the floor, gathering ice packs and ibuprofen.

Now, I've done terrible things to both my ankles several times prior to this and if I really broke the thing or tore a bunch of ligaments it hurt immediately, like rolling on the ground, get the hell away from me, nothing could possibly hurt more than this pain. That was not the case this time, the pain crept up on me and then attacked, pounced on me like a pain-puma, a puma of pain. (Which gives me a great idea for a tramp stamp tattoo for my wife, I think she'll go for it.) I was up half the night wrestling with the pain (puma), but by the time I woke up, after significant amounts of icing and with 1600 milligrams of ibuprofen coursing through me, I felt a lot better.


Just to make things clear, the RIDE IS ON, I just might not be as hammery as I might be otherwise. In fact, at some point during the ride you may see me rolling on the ground like a world cup soccer player or NBA player, holding my ankle, hoping the ref will call a foul.

Here's the schedule for tomorrow:

Date:	Saturday, May 1, 2010
Time:	9:00am - 3:00pm
Location:	Flynn Rink
Street:	300 Elm Street
City/Town:	Medford, MA

Schedule:
9:00 AM Event Opens
9:00 AM Guided Rides - Thom P / Hammer Ride
9:00 AM Guided Rides - NickB / Intermediate
9:30 AM Ride with Gary Social Ride - Tim / Mellow Ride
10:00 AM Guided Rides - AnthonyG / Intermediate
10:00 AM Kids Ride - Howie
10:00 AM Ride Like a Girl! Beginner Women's Ride with
Karen and Kate
11:00 AM Guided Rides - Andrea & Junko / Intermediate
11:00 AM Guided Rides - Int-Adv Women's Ride with LunaChix
12:00 PM Lunch courtesy of Redbones
12:30 PM Kids Ride with Gary Fisher - Adam
1:00 PM Guided Rides - Thom / Hammer Ride
1:00 PM Guided Rides - AnthonyG / Beginner-Mellow
2:00 PM Guided Rides - GregK / Intermediate
3:00 PM Guided Rides - Adam / Mellow-Medium
3:00 PM Event Close



That's right, I was making excuses for why I am going to suck on a GROUP RIDE. That is how far I have fallen. Next thing you know I'll be making up reasons why dudes with milk crates zip-tied to their bikes are passing me during my commute. And while I'm on the subject of making fun of myself — what the hell was the deal with my wearing my full 29er crew silly suit while I was on a ride with a seven-year-old? He was wearing warm-up pants and a T-shirt (and he was a on a single speed). In my defense, it was hot and I only had one change of clothes in the car and I had a long day ahead of me, a day I didn't want to spend wearing sweaty, dirty clothes. Still, it must have looked wicked-quee-ah to the townie kids who came by to text on their i-phones and pretend to ride bikes.

Now, ride reports in the form of extended photo captions!



These are shots from last Sunday AM's Fells ride. At one time I was sick of The Fells, but after a winter of riding everything BUT the Fells, I am stoked to be back in there. As the Roman poet Sextus (huh-huh) Propertius once said: "Always toward absent lovers love's tide stronger flows."
See, all this schooling is good for something. Wicked fast young-dude Nathaniel Williams came out for the ride. We were on our 29er XC bikes, riding around in circles, looking for a crew of guys who had left a half hour earlier on their 6-inch-travel bikes. While we were looking, we ran into an MTB Mind rider named Hans. He took us on a fast rip through his favorite technical trails and then peeled off for home. Then, after a few missed calls and text messages (and a call taken while riding down a washed out fire-road one-handed) we finally found the bigger bike crew.


They dragged us down some descents at mach-speed. I always feel like it's good for the XC dorks to get out with guys who can really ride bikes once in a while. Jerry Garcia, Len, JP, and Colin were ripping, and so was Nathaniel. I was really impressed with that kid's technical prowess, he can ride a freakin' bike.

In a deeply ironic incident, I got dropped because my (factory-installed, shut it!) inner chainring bolts backed out and my chainring fell off. The single-speed Gods and Generals must be angry.

And speaking of technical ass-whuppins and technical issues....


I've been riding in Needham a lot. The shot at the top of the post is of me doing a little bridge maintenance. After a few slips, there's the "aw-screw-it!" moment when you just step into the water and get 'er done. The bridge configuration in the above photo is not how it ended up, but it would have been sweet if that move had worked.



I met up with Gerry's Wednesday night crew (who were all on big squishy bikes). Pushing their pace through the rocky, rooty weirdness was exciting on my full-saddle-height XC bike, but again, I feel like it's good for me...until I get hurt and end up having to crawl around my house. After a brief warm up lap while we waited for the crew to amass, my right cleat bolt backed out (I've been screwing with them a ton and not loctiting them afterward). Luckily Barry had a bolt for me, thanks Barry. Then my chain started dropping off my inner chainring suddenly and painfully KAH-CHUNK! This, a result of riding it briefly while it was loose on Sunday. How, you might ask, had I not noticed any issues for three days? I like my big ring, that's all.

Of course I had to catch a flat too. I had been trying to hold The Coug's wheel through all those nutty trails (except for when he did stuff like the slimy, sketchy drop with a stone wall waiting to catch you if you botched thing in the video below), it was only a matter of time until I paid the price. The Stan's sealant I installed sometime late last summer wasn't doing much for me when I pierced my rear tire on a pointy, pointy rock.

Wow, this is a long one, and for no good reason, I will shut my gob now.

See you Saturday AM or afternoon.

-t

The Coug Drops in at an undisclosed location from thom parsons on Vimeo.

Dude, Literally Dude,

These Are Legitimate Excuses Dude

No time to write today, my powers are being diverted to other areas. All I'll say is this: now might be a good time to renew your NEMBA membership (if only for your free subscription to Singletracks) and your subscription to Dirtrag (and not just because Dicky now writes for them).

25th Hour Party People

You ever seen that Spike Lee Movie 25th Hour? (It's not his best, but it'll do.) Basically Ed Norton's character is going to prison for seven years. A benevolent DEA agent gives him a 24 hour reprieve to live it up. That's how I felt today, only my prison sentence looked like this:

That's what I call hypothermia weather

So I had to get some riding in on the way home from school today. Had to. Now I'm cooked...but I have FOUR whopping hours in my legs for the week.

If you're looking for something to read (since that ain't happenin' here today), you might check out the latest issue of NEMBA's Singetracks magazine. I did a totally inane little write up outlining some of my idiotic ideas about training in New England winter. The only way to read it, I'm afraid, is to either become a member and get it delivered to your door, or swing by your friendly neighborhood bike shop (at least it's friendly when I'm not there) and pick up a FREE copy off their counter.


In other, not-all-me-being-annoying-all-the-time-news...
my buddy Mo is holding a raffle to help offset her recent trip to Cyclocross Worlds. So I'll leave you to peruse the info on that (below) and see you tomorrow, I hope. (I hope I will get to write something and I hope you will actually come back here again considering today's weak post).

The time is almost up for your chance to win one of three amazing prizes and help Mo Bruno Roy with her trip to Europe, where she represented the United States at two World Cups and the Cyclocross World Championships on Tabor, Czech Republic with three top 25 finishes!

There will be a limited number (250) of raffle tickets available for purchase. Raffle tickets cost $50 each or 5 for $200. The raffle is available only on BikeReg.com through March 4, 2010.

Grand prize: Valued at $7500, a COMPLETE CUSTOM Seven Cycles bicycle built with the identical components found on the Mudhoney SLX Mo races.

Here’s what you’ll win:

• fully custom Seven Cycles Mudhoney SLX or Elium SLX frame built to your specific needs
• complete 2010 SRAM Force gruppo
• MAVIC R-SYS clincher wheels
• Alpha Q CX20 cross fork or equivalent fork from Seven Cycles
• FIZIK saddle and bartape
• Seven Cycles seatpost, handlebar and stem
• Chris King headset
• TRP EuroX Carbon brakes (or equivalent road brakes)
• Michelin MUD2 tires and tubes

1^st prize: Valued at $1000, Pedro’s Master Tool Kit 3.0. This 65-piece kit has the tools you need for any event, hand picked by the pros! You’ll never buy another tool again.

2^nd prize: Valued at $700, a full Thule rack system custom to the winner’s vehicle along with 2 bike trays.

http://www.bikereg.com/events/register.asp?EventID=9927

We'll keep you posted on the raffle drawing party TBD.

Why Wyoming, Why?

OK we're gonna get all serious today. Sort of. Monday night was the DCR/NEMBA/Friends of The Fells meeting up in Med-fid. I apologize to my readers...excuse me, make that reader in Bulgaria, but we're going to talk about something that really only relates to people living in the Metro-Boston area today. So sorry Aleksandar (I don't really know if that's my Bulgarian reader's name, it's just the first name that came up when I googled "popular Bulgarian boys names.") you are excused from reading today's post.

You know what's funny (besides seeing someone get kicked in the nuts so hard that they fart)? I also only have one reader in Idaho...and in North Dakota...and in Arkansas. Hey one guy in each of those respective states, tell your friends to read The Big Bikes OK? They might think I'm an annoying, whiny, idiot, who makes crazy crap up and doesn't know what the hell he's talking about — just tell them I'm a lot like Glenn Beck...without as much crying like a big fat baby-man.




I'm sorry, I just love my country. Even the jerks in the state of Wyoming who don't even read Big Bikes AT ALL. That's right, no readers in Wyoming, not a one. I've even been to Wyoming and ridden mountain bikes there. Right outside Laramie. Do you guys hate me because I once bit the head off one of your state birds, "The Western Meadowlark?" I can see how you might take that the wrong way. You have to understand, my meeting with the execs from CBS wasn't going well, they were getting cold feet about producing "Big Bikes: a Karaoke Rock Opera" (Which really just involved me singing along to Danzig...atonally...totally naked. Well, not totally if you count my "Natural fur sweater." But ya, it covers up the wrong bits, I know. ) I had to salvage the thing somehow, so I bit the head off a frickin' whaddaya call it...Meadow Lark, for effect. They didn't go for it and the rest, as all four of you know, was never even made into a VH1 Behind The Music special.



Of course now you Wyoming-inians will come over here and read this. Why? Because you're narcissistic like everyone else (That's right, still #1 Big Bikes and #1 Thom Parsons according to god...um, I mean Google) and you'll be up late one night googling your state name and your state bird and "jerks in Wyoming" (just to see if somebody's talking smack about you), and you'll come across this post and then you'll leave me 143 hate comments. Please don't kill me Wyoming.

What were we talking about?
Advocacy, right...


The meeting went well, only a couple of the yellow-toothed, gray haired, neurotically twitching whack jobs from Friends of The Fells got all aggro and started shouting and acting like crazy people. I'm leaving out a lot of back story here, but we gotta move along. Basically the FOTF wants to limit access for mountain bikers to The Fells, i.e: ban them completely and then, if possible, have them stabbed, doused with gasoline, set on fire, and dumped in the Mystic River.

I just got the folowing email from Adam Glick, Greater Boston NEMBA. What we need to do is get as many emails as possible into the DCR so they know the primary users of The Fells are responsible mountain biker-types, not nine angry men who want the place to themselves so they can, uh...fornicate with flowers. Read Adam's guidelines below and fire that email off! Hey, I did it and I don't follow through on anything. I swear I'm still going to learn Spanish with my Rosetta Stone cassette tapes while working my abs on my Bowflex. I did not buy them for nothing.

Adam's email:


Last night was a high water mark in a long, long dry season of MTB advocacy at the Fells.

Time to get back to work however.

It was clear that DCR *wants* more comments submitted. This is **very** important to DCR. They are counting them all up - they had nice bar charts summarizing them. What struck me was that the bar representing "Expand Mountain Bike Access" wasn't very much higher than its opposite "Don't Change a Thing" bar. We must do better.

Action Item: We need everyone who hasn't sent comments to send them in. Keep them short and to the point. Here's the original DCR source page:http://www.mass.gov/dcr/news/publicmeetings/greenwaysfellsusersurvey.htm

Some suggestions:

Simply state that you:

1. Support increased mountain biking opportunities.
2. Support a change to the winter closure policy.
3. Support increased NEMBA volunteerism
4. Support after dark riding.
5. Support separating loop trail overlaps
6. Support providing access to the reservoir trail systems
7. Support improved signage

You don't need to answer all the questions -- just the ones that are important to you.

There are some basic principles we hope riders will support:

1. Fair and equitable access policy
2. Access to singletrack
3. More marked loops
4. Positive use to replace illegitimate use

It's even better if the comments are in your own voice and express your own concerns. We're not trying to control the message -- it's the getting a message out to DCR that is really important.

If you are looking for other ideas, here's some stuff that Greater Boston NEMBA has come up with (look at the bottom of the webpage):http://www.gbnemba.org/fells-action.html

Email your comments to: Paul.jahnige@state.ma.us

When you send them please also cc: fells@gbnemba.org

Spread the word. Tell your friends. Make a point of getting the word out about this.

This is like when you are on the last leg of an epic ride and you can feel yourself beginning to bonk. We need to find that extra energy to keep us going and get us home because we have a lot of traction right now.

Hi, it's me again. If you're still reading this is the email I sent out:

Hello Paul,

I'm just writing to voice my support for increased access for mountain bikers at The Middlesex Fells.
The Fells are just a few minutes away from my house, I use them for running, hiking (that's really just a fancy name for walking),
cross-country skiing and mountain biking. I am over there, enjoying the place in some capacity several days a week, year round.

I would love to see more opportunities for NEMBA members to oversee trail building and maintenance. Well built, managed, and maintained trails
are much more durable than the kind of hiking and default trails that mountain bikers now ride on.

Allowing nighttime access and instituting a "Mud Ban" rather than winter closure would be great.
Night-riding only disrupts two of the nocturnal species in The Fells — partying high school kids lighting fires and naked men running.
The winter ban keeps bikers out during the months when the trails are least vulnerable. The trails are either frozen
or covered in snow. NEMBA members are always very good about keeping off the trails when they're muddy.
NEMBA rides are canceled due to muddy conditions.

On behalf of my 62 year-old mom I'd like to say that allowing access to the roads around the reservoirs would be excellent.
Many riders are like my mom and would much rather ride on semi-smooth dirt road than single-track. They really aren't hurting anything in there.

Another point of concern is the Dark Hollow area. I know my mom won't go near the place (though I'm not sure
she has much to be worried about), and my 16 year-old friend Nathaniel (who might have something to worry about) won't even go into The Fells
because of all the talk about "undesirable users" in that area.
I feel strongly that a trail running through that swath of land would only displace one type of wild life...
and I'm not talking about newts.

Thanks for your time,

Thom Parsons

Note my use of clever euphemisms for "sketchy men cruising and having sex in the bushes all the time." Newts...newts aren't that size or color and they have those gill things on the side. Dead giveaway...the lack of gill things there.

-t